Thursday, May 22, 2008

Make Your Day: Call Center Bloopers

In the Philippines, call center industries are contributing 12 percent of the country's gross national product. It is the fastest growing provider for Filipino college students and graduates alike. Call center agents experience the most stressful type of work, especially if they are assigned in graveyard shifts. Being stressed and under pressured are probably the reasons why it is inevitable for them to commit ridiculous mistakes when handling their call and/or customers.

Here are a few of those call center bloopers and go ahead, make your day!

1. Agent handling a very irate customer:
Customer: "F**k you! What is wrong with you people?! I have been calling for several times already and yet I did not get any action?! F**k you! F**k you!"
Agent: "Sir, pls Sir, stop f**king me!" (Oh, boy!)

2. Agent asking permission to put the customer on hold...
"Sir, can I hold you for five minutes?". (Uhh... What do you mean "hold"?...)

3. Agent trying to pacify the customer:
Agent: "Sir, Im detecting that you're starting to become irate. Please dont. Let's be friends again...". (Uhm... Is this a relationship between an agent-customer or phone pals?)

4. Agent accepting a call from customer:
Agent: "Thank you for calling"
Customer: "Hello, am I talking to a LIVE person?"
Agent: "Yes sir. You are talking LIVE via satelllite with no commercial breaks!".

5. A CSR trying to convince his customer to have his order upgraded to a deluxe arrangement of flowers:
CSR: "Do you want to have it upgraded to a deluxe arrangement?"
Customer: "What's in the deluxe arrangement?"
CSR: "Well, it is more beautiful than the regular. We will be putting more flowers into it. It will be more colorful and more BONGGACIOUS!"
(The word "bonggacious" is a gay-slang word which means "superb", mostly used in Philippine gay vocabulary.)

6. Tidbits of wrong grammar usage and mispronounced English words and/or phrases:
(a) "Thank you for calling TO YOU, how may I help you?"
(b) "So you will have ONE CHILDREN with you in this flight?"
(c) "Ok, ma'am. Can you first give FIRST your first name FIRST and your last name FIRST? (No, way... You're LAST!)
(d) "Thank you for calling your account number sir..." (Huh!?!?)
(e) "So would you like to book for a flight this January nine or TANE?"

7. And last but not the least...
Tech Support: "Ok sir, can you please type C-M-D on the run field."
Client: "What?!!!"
Tech Support: "C-M-D, sir."
Client: (Irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!
Tech Support: "Ok! C-M-D. C as in CLIENT, M as in MUST and D as in DIE." (Uh-oh!)

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